Self-injury can be very scary, and most of us would rather not talk about it. But talking about self-injury doesn’t make people do it more. Instead, it helps to understand the problem and find ways to help those who self-injure.
Self-injury is when someone harms themselves on purpose to deal with strong emotions like deep sadness, big anger, or extreme anxiety. The most common way people self-injure is by cutting or scratching their skin with things like razors, paperclips, or pen caps. People also burn, hit, or bite themselves or pick at their skin and wounds. Self-injury happens more often in girls than in boys and usually starts during the teenage years.
Is self-injury typical?
No.
There isn’t a “normal” way to hurt yourself. But to help, it’s important to understand self-injury.
Why people self-injure:
- To distract from strong emotions.
- To feel something when they feel numb.
- As a hidden way to ask for help.
- To ease emotional pain or show others they are hurting.
Self-injury is not a good way to deal with problems. It might bring temporary relief, but this makes people want to do it again. The longer it goes on, the harder it is to stop. Many who self-injure feel ashamed and want to stop, but need help.
When should I be concerned about self-injury?
Self-injury should always be taken seriously. It means someone is hurting deeply. Life can be tough, and it’s normal to feel lost sometimes. But hurting yourself doesn’t fix problems. It might offer temporary comfort, but it causes physical pain and leaves scars. Over time, it can lead to guilt, shame, and self-hate. If you’re self-injuring, you do not have to be alone. Help is available.
What can I do if I struggle with self-injury?
If you’re having a hard time and hurting yourself, you do not have to face it alone. It’s important to ask for help sooner rather than later.
Tell a trusted adult. This could be a caregiver, family member, or someone responsible for you. Let them know what you’re going through. They can help you get the support you need.
Accept the help offered. Sometimes people around you will notice something’s wrong. When they do, they might reach out to you. Even if they do not always do it the right way, take the chance to tell them what’s happening.
If you’re self-injuring, you’re not alone, and asking for help is important.
- Tell a trusted adult: A parent, family member, or someone who cares for you can help you find support.
- Accept help: If someone notices you’re struggling, let them help.
- Distract yourself: Watch movies, listen to music, or do activities you enjoy.
- Find other relief: Hold an ice cube, take a cold shower, bite a piece of raw pepper, or exercise intensely for five minutes.
- Limit access to tools: Lock up or freeze anything you use to self-injure.
- Call a helpline: Reach out when you cannot handle it alone.
- Understand your triggers: Notice what makes you want to self-injure and how you feel afterwards.
While you’re reaching out for help, try these to stop self-injuring:
- Make a list of reasons to stop. Even though self-injury might bring quick relief, it harms your school life, your friendships, and your feelings about yourself. Think about the life you want for yourself and let that guide you.
- Remember the good things about you. Self-injury often makes you feel down. Try to list your strengths and what makes you special.
- Know you do not deserve punishment. Even if you’ve made mistakes, you deserve kindness and respect.
- Try new activities. Being around others and doing enjoyable things can help you feel better.
- Stay healthy. Exercise, eat well, and do fun things to boost your mood.
- Get help for other mental health issues. If you’re dealing with sadness, anger, or anxiety, look for help so these feelings do not make you want to self-injure more.
- Celebrate your progress. Recognise every effort you make to overcome the urge to self-injure.
Do not try to fix self-injury on your own. It’s best to get help from a mental health professional who can figure out why you’re self-injuring and help with emotional difficulties.
What kind of professional support can I seek out?
It’s common to feel embarrassed, inadequate, or guilty if you’re self-injuring. But help and guidance are available.
Doctors like paediatricians or family physicians can help if you are concerned about your self-injury. They can refer you to other specialists, including mental health professionals, which can also be helpful.
Public services are also available at your local clinic.
When looking for affordable services, it may also be helpful to explore local non-governmental organisations which offer services to families.
Local universities may offer services to the public as part of professional training programmes.
Please don’t give up if you don’t have success in your first attempts at getting help. Go back to the services listed above and look at our online list for additional resources or support. Your mental health is worth the effort.
Where to find more information
If you need additional help or information, talk to a trusted adult (like a caregiver, teacher or mentor), a counsellor, or a health professional. Reach out, stay connected, and ask for help. Remember that effective treatments for all mental health problems are available and you may need to talk to a number of different people before you get the help that you need.