All learners sometimes have trouble following rules or get upset. However, some learners have more frequent and intense problems with these behaviours. They may often feel angry or irritable and act out by not listening to adults and educators or annoying others on purpose. These behaviours can be challenging for educators and may lead to conflicts at school. It’s important to understand that these actions are not always intentional and may be a sign that the learner needs help. With the right support, learners can learn to manage their emotions and behaviours better.

What is typical?

It’s normal for learners to sometimes break rules or get upset. Younger learners usually follow rules more, but older learners and teenagers might challenge the rules and question authority at home or school. This is a part of growing up. Even some aggressive actions are normal. For example, young learners might hit others when they are upset because they want something right away. It’s also common for young learners to argue over small things on the playground. These behaviours usually don’t happen in other situations and are a normal part of development.

Many of us break rules and get angry sometimes, especially around people we know well. We might follow rules most of the time, but still break them at home or school, even if we know we could get in trouble. This kind of rule-breaking is normal and part of growing up.

When should I be concerned?

There are several signs that show a learner may be having difficulties with following rules or getting along with others. These signs can be different based on the learner’s age.

• Being easily irritated: The learner may get upset over small things.
• Losing their temper quickly: The learner may have frequent outbursts of anger.
• Arguing with adults: The learner may often argue with educators or other authority figures.
• Refusing to follow rules: The learner may ignore or break rules on purpose.
• Acting out verbally or physically: The learner may yell, hit others, or act aggressively.
• Not feeling sorry after causing trouble: The learner may not show remorse or apologise for their actions.
• Blaming others for mistakes: The learner may not take responsibility for their actions.
• Annoying others on purpose: The learner may do things to bother or upset others intentionally.
• Feeling angry or irritable: The learner may often feel angry or hold onto anger for a long time.

What can I do to help?

As an educator, remaining patient and supportive of a learner with these difficulties is key. Here are some things you can try:

1. Talk to the learner: Ask simple questions to understand their feelings and behaviour. Listening helps you understand their perspective.
2. Be supportive: Let the learner know you care and are there to help. Encourage positive behaviour and praise their efforts.
3. Set clear expectations: Clearly explain the rules and consequences. Consistency helps learners understand what is expected.
4. Teach problem-solving skills: Help the learner find better ways to handle conflicts and emotions. Role-playing can be a useful tool. Educators can introduce possible conflicts/scenarios, and the learners and educator can discuss various coping mechanisms.
5. Encourage breaks: Allow the learner to take short breaks when they feel overwhelmed. This can help them calm down and refocus. Educators can provide designated spaces inside or outside of the classroom for these situations.
6. Communicate with caregivers: Share your observations with the learner’s caregivers and work together to support the learner.
7. Collaborate with school support staff: Work with counsellors or psychologists to develop strategies for managing behaviour.

Where to find more information

For detailed information on mental health conditions, visit our guides for health professionals.