Peers are very important in your life. With friends, you learn a lot of things, including how to be kind and work together. Friends’ influence starts early and grows over time. As you become more independent from your parents and figure out who you are, friends become your main support and make you feel like you belong. It is normal, healthy, and important to have and rely on friends as you grow up. But just as good friendships can help a lot, bad relationships with peers can cause a lot of stress.
When does teasing become bullying?
Growing up, you might face painful or embarrassing moments, and most of us have been teased. Learning to bounce back from these moments is important. But bullying should not be ignored because it can cause lasting emotional harm.
Teasing becomes bullying when:
- There’s a power difference (someone stronger, more popular, or richer picks on someone weaker).
- There’s an intention to harm (physical or verbal threats, rumours, or exclusion).
- It happens repeatedly.
- It causes harm (affects well-being or daily activities).
Why people bully:
- To fit in with others who are bullying.
- Because they are bullied themselves.
- To get attention.
- Because they are impulsive and do not know how to control it.
- Because they think others are mean even when they are not.
- Because they do not understand how their actions hurt others.
What is cyberbullying?
Bullying can be verbal, physical, or online (cyberbullying). We connect and make friends online, but bad behaviour happens there too. Cyberbullying is like regular bullying but happens online, using threats, aggression, humiliation, or exclusion. It happens repeatedly.
Cyberbullying can be done by one person or a group, using emails, social media, or chat rooms. The bully doesn’t face the victim directly and often hides behind a fake name. They can hurt their victims anytime and expose them to many people.
When should I be concerned about bullying?
Bullying is always a concern, whether you see it, are a victim, or are a bully. All these situations are bad and need attention because they can lead to:
Problems caused by bullying:
- Sadness, anxiety, or depression.
- Isolation and loneliness.
- Physical injuries or damaged belongings.
- Headaches, stomach aches, pretending to be sick.
- Lower grades, less interest in school.
- Trouble sleeping, bad dreams.
- Changes in eating (not eating or overeating).
- Self-harm, running away, thoughts of suicide.
- Being aggressive, starting fights.
It’s important not to handle bullying alone. Asking for help is key to stopping it and helping everyone involved.
What can I do if I struggle with bullying?
If you see bullying, are a victim, or are involved in bullying, ask for help. Here are some steps:
- Ask a trusted adult: Talk to a parent, family member, or caregiver.
- Talk to a teacher: Teachers often notice what’s happening between students.
- Talk to school staff: If you’re not comfortable talking to a teacher, find another adult at school you trust.
If you are being bullied, try these things:
- Practice assertiveness: Practice being confident, not aggressive. Rehearse what to say and do with someone you trust.
- Find allies: Talk to friends about how to handle the situation.
- Join activities: Doing things you enjoy and are good at can boost your confidence.
What kind of professional support can I seek out?
It’s common to feel embarrassed, inadequate, or guilty if you are facing bullying. But support is available.
School counsellors are available to help you if you or someone you know is being bullied. Doctors like paediatricians or family physicians can also help. They can refer you to other specialists, including mental health professionals, which can also be helpful.
Public services are also available at your local clinic.
When looking for affordable services, it may also be helpful to explore local non-governmental organisations which offer services to families.
Local universities may offer services to the public as part of professional training programmes.
Please don’t give up if you don’t have success in your first attempts at getting help. Go back to the services listed above and look at our online list for additional resources or support. Your mental health is worth the effort.
Where to find more information
If you need additional help or information, talk to a trusted adult (like a caregiver, teacher or mentor), a counsellor, or a health professional. Reach out, stay connected, and ask for help. Remember that effective treatments for all mental health problems are available and you may need to talk to a number of different people before you get the help that you need.